wings

**** this is a possible scene for my faerie novel - currently the protagonist has been cursed by a unseelie fae and after being dormant for weeks the curse has taken affect. The two men battling for her affection have teamed up to try and save her. Something to know: Glamour is the emotion energy of all living things (it can be seen as an aura around people), while magic is raw, chaotic, and dangerous - most fae cannot create actual magic and instead use glamour in it's place*****

It came down to a moment of pure clarity.

All the anger and fear i was feeling, watching these men in front of me, with their super strength and power, fighting on my behalf while all i could do was hide and whimper was bubbling inside me.

The burning sensation i had been low key feeling for the past few weeks surged forward, possessing my entire body. I don't know how i managed not to double over with pain, seeing as the slow warmth was now an inferno burning my body from the inside out. It was the curse.... the fae curse that was finally taking affect.

I watched as my friends battled their way towards the perpetrator, not even knowing if they would reach him in time to save me.

But like i said... in this blazing chaos going on, i had a moment of clarity.
The curse on me was fae magic. I'm currently with two fae, although they are being preoccupied with the fae that cursed me.  I myself have fae blood in my veins, albeit very little.

i know about fae.... all my theories and research and folklore that i've read. It lead up to this one moment.

In this chaos it all came into perspective, as if my mind knew that if i didn't find control of the situation i would go mad. I'm surrounded by chaos; i have chaos within me; what comes from chaos?  destruction and creation. What do i have inside me? Magic. How does one use a magical curse to turn chaos from destructive power (as the curse was currently destroying my mind and body) into creative power? What is the main way to use and manipulate magic? imagination.

As a human i had the gift of imagination, creating my own magic so to speak. If i didn't act now, i knew i was doomed; there was no way that Logan and Dimitiri would be able to save me in time. It was time i saved myself for once.

I closed my eyes and forced my mind to picture myself standing, with flames flowing inside of my body's silhouette. I forced my mind to imagine the flames turning blue, cooling down and soothing my burning insides. Imagination was key, although it was hard to imagine anything through the pain i somehow managed it - self preservation at it's finest. Then as the pain calmed down inside me my imagination took on a mind of it's own...

The flames were now cooling swirling mists inside me, the pain was all but gone, replaced with a growing pressure as the mist filled me. The pressure was so intense it was almost as painful as the burning fire that had been there moments before. Like the curse when it was dormant the pressure also presented itself as a warmth that filled me. Only the energy and magic inside me seemed to grow and grow until i thought i would explode. And then i did.

Well, not exactly. I didn't know what to do since the magic inside me was no longer under my control, instead it became almost like a living thing inside me. It had begun to slam itself inside the walls of my mind and body, causing me to double over in pain. When i leaned forward, gripping my head in agony i felt the pressure suddenly surge up and out.... of my back.

I didn't need to see them to know that they were big.  Instantly my body aligned itself and i could feel new sensations flood my brain as my wings shifted through the air around me. I opened my eyes and stood up straight, power no longer creating chaos inside me; now it swirled around me waiting for my command.  My fae senses took over and as i flexed my new wings, i pictured the sea of combatants ahead of my allies parting like the red sea before moses.

A wicked smile played across my face when i saw bodies flying to each side, allowing a cleared path for us all to attack the fleeing unseelie fae.  An anger filled me faster than i would have thought possible, a wrathful anger. How dare he curse me. The descendant of the great princess of the Seelie court.  Although she hadn't been in line for the throne she was still royalty - thus so was i. He would pay for his insubordination... dearly.  Once again the wicked smile was on my lips as i launched myself after my comrads. With wings spread i felt myself lift off the ground, magic whirling under my wings as i narrowed in on my target.

I didn't pay much mind to the shocked  look on Logan's face or the cheer that erupted from Dimitiri when they saw me fly over them. All i saw through my tunnel vision was the back of my fleeing prey. I landed on top of him, my feet spaced on his back and his skull. Before he even had a chance to fight back my magic peirced through his limbs like nails, holding him in place.

My faerie side had taken over so i felt no guilt when he screamed in pain, in fact i even enjoyed it. He was going to face the consequences for his insult, and it was going to be pleasant -f or me. I imagined the magic that had stalked him to the ground flowing into him and turing into the red inferno e had cursed me to. His scream of agony brought forth a laugher i barely recognized.

By this time Logan and Dimitiri had caught up to me. In a flash of movement Dimitiri was on the screaming fae, and Logan was in front of me, one of his hands around my waist and the other holding my face so he could look into my eyes.

"Ellie... look at me. Your wrath is just and your prey deserving, but we need him sane. He has much to answer to and you will get your vengeance, just not. right. now." As he said the last three words his deep voice seemed to penetrate the haze of magic in my mind.  I blinked and felt the magic leave my victim and return to me, folding around me, invisible, like a shield. I blinked again, focusing in on his deep blue eyes. In them i could see pride, he always knew that my faerie side was there and was strong. Although he never said it, he had secretly been hoping that i would finally accept it and become one with my "faerie side".  I could see it in his glamour, which much like my magic was flowing around him.

I had never been able to see other people's glamour before, not without direct contact with a fae so i could use their eyes. Now i realized, after the curse i was fae myself. My wings could attest to that. I closed my eyes and breathed, trying to rein in the faerie energy and return to my "human side". Only it seemed that it wasn't there anymore. The line i had always drawn inside my mind to keep my urges and behavior in check was gone. My two sides had merged into a whole new being.  This would be interesting.. seeing as i had to learn how to control raw magic at the same time reforge a human self.

No fae can truly live by human law and logic, not with glamour at their finger tips. I was human, now completely fae... one with magic.  I was in a whole new ball park and the thought of it scared me a little. But my faerie pride wouldn't allow me to show it; although it probably appeared in my own glamour.  Logan must have seen it because he smiled and comfort flowed into me from his touch.

I had to look away from him before i blushed so i turned my atention to Dimitiri and the now unmoving unseelie fae. Logan was watching me, his mouth in a hard line on his face. He was the one who had wanted to remain human and completely untouched by the fae world. He had even lived amongst the humans to keep it that way and was now having to face his failure. But behind the defeat in his eyes i saw...awe. He was in awe of me. I could actually see my wings reflected in his eyes. They were like no bird or bug wings i had ever seen before.

They stretched about arms length from my side and were a teal gossamer that seemed to shimmer despite a lack of light. I turned my head to look at them myself and was struck by how strong they were despite how thin. They looked almost like a butterfly 's wings with added panels and curves. Each end seemed to have an antenna on them and different feelers sprang from them, leaving me looking like my wings were sown but had loose threads. But they were beautiful and they were mine.

I looked at Dimitiri again, felt Logon's arm around my waist tighten, and i tried not to feel a pang of guilt. Both of them meant a lot to me. I had grown up with Dimitiri, had been protected by him, and maybe could have fallen in love with him had he not kept all of this from me. Logan was nothing but honest, harsh, but honest. Logan had embraced the darkness inside me, what i called my "faerie" side. Dimitiri wanted me to stay nieve and helpless. But i wasn't, not anymore.

I expected him to grow angry, as he would have back in the human world. Instead a slow smile spread across his face. He walked over to us, leaving our captive unconscious on the ground, and despite Logan's obvious warning, leaned in close to me. Whispering in my ear he said something i hadn't expected.

"You have embraced the 'darkness' you were so afraid of once; but i still see the same light shining through you. You once told me that you feared you would be a different person if you gave into your faerie side... but you're not. I can tell." He pulled back a few inches so that his green eyes were level with mine. There was no anger and no defeat, only pride and... love.

I had the unexplainable urge to touch him, but reminded myself that i was with Logan. I was promised to him, as princess. I felt trapped by his arm and wanted to be free. Normally as a human i would have just tried to shrink and would go along with what i wanted. But now i had the confience of faerie and the willpower of human inside me. No one could cage me. I looked at Dimiriti and smirked. I closed my eyes.

With ease i imagined myself as smoke that slipped through his arms and moved to the side. Opening them i was greeted by the shocked look on Logan's face once more and a look of pride on Dimitiri's. My wings flexed and i knew that going forward i didn't need to be afraid. My faerie side had taken over, but just as it was always in my mind as a human, i felt the love and compassion of my human self in my mind as a fae.

It was just as Dimiriti had said, back when i still called him Dmitri, "Both sides are of the same coin. They aren't different people inside you, they are you."

I really wasn't any different as a fae than i was as a human. Only now i wasn't divided in half, i was whole. I didn't need to rely on anyone anymore; i was free.